My Ex Thinks I’m a Bit Much. He’s Not Wrong.
My ex-boyfriend-turned-bestie and I have very different views on what counts as a celebration. He’s the kind of person who believes birthdays are for kids, champagne is for Christmas, and wins should be few and far between so they feel more meaningful. Meanwhile, I think a win is a win. Got out of bed before noon on a Sunday? Cheers to that. Remembered to take the bins out the night before? Honestly, someone fetch me a tiara, because damn, I’m sparkling right now.
Anyway, we’ve had long debates about this, usually while eating a pub lunch and pretending we’re not still wildly in love with each other’s opinions. He tells me I romanticise life too much, like I’m living in a film where every moment is scored by a string quartet. I tell him he’s emotionally constipated and should really buy a party hat once in a while. We meet in the middle by clinking our glasses every time someone says something remotely clever*. Which, to be fair, is more often than not me.
Because here’s the thing. Life is hard. And boring. And stressful. And full of dirty laundry and unread emails and silent spirals over why the postman didn’t wave back. If we only celebrated the big things, we’d be waiting a long time between happy moments. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the emotional patience for that kind of drought.
*See what I’ve done? I’ve tricked him into micro-celebrations, muhaha!
Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters
Somewhere along the line, we were taught that achievements need to be massive to matter. That unless you’ve bought a house, got a promotion, run a marathon, or survived a silent retreat, you haven’t earned your gold star. But what about the days you didn’t cry in the shower? Or remembered your friend’s birthday without Facebook reminding you?
Small wins are the glue that hold us together when everything else feels like it’s coming undone. They’re those quiet moments of self-respect and effort that deserve a little confetti. Not because they’re impressive, but because they’re proof you kept going. Even when it was boring. Even when no one was watching.
Celebrating the little things doesn’t mean you’re being dramatic. It means you’re paying attention. To yourself. To your efforts. And to the fact that you’ve kept going through everything that’s tried to knock you sideways. That deserves more than just a nod. It deserves a dance party in the kitchen with your cat and a homemade matcha latte.
The Myth of Being “Too Much”
I’ve often been told I’m too much. Too loud. Too enthusiastic. Too emotional. Too celebratory. As though being delighted by life’s ordinary moments is some kind of moral failing. But I’ve never understood the appeal of living in grayscale when there’s technicolour on offer.
You don’t have to tone yourself down to be taken seriously. You can be the person who cries at ads, throws themed dinner parties just because it’s Tuesday, and claps when the plane lands*. You’re allowed to be thrilled you got the good trolley at the supermarket. It’s not childish. It’s charming. And it makes life just that little bit less unbearable.
When we celebrate the little things, we’re reclaiming joy from the clutches of perfectionism. We’re saying, “Hey, I see you, effort. I see you, growth. I see you, Tuesday afternoon when I didn’t lose my mind in the work Zoom.” That matters. You matter. Even in the small stuff. Especially in the small stuff.
*Ok, maybe not this one, personally, but you do you boo.
What It Looks Like in Real Life
For me, celebrating the little things looks like wearing statement earrings to do the grocery run. It looks like texting my bestie a victory selfie because I went to bed early. It looks like choosing the fancy mug for my tea, lighting a candle at 2pm, or going to the pub solo with nothing but my phone because I finished a task I’d been putting off for weeks.
It’s ordering salt and pepper squid as a reward for sitting through a particularly awful meeting. Or giving myself a “participation award” sticker for surviving a day where everything went wrong and I didn’t scream once. These aren’t big moments, but they’re real. They’re mine. And they keep me grounded in the fact that life doesn’t have to be magical to be meaningful. Statement earrings are my love language and I will wear them to celebrate bin night, thank you very much.
Not every day comes with applause. So sometimes, you’ve got to clap for yourself. Even if it’s just for folding the laundry the same day you washed it. Especially then, actually. That’s high-level adulting.
Building a Celebration Practice
If you’ve never celebrated the small stuff, it might feel silly at first. You’ll feel self-conscious pouring yourself a glass of bubbles because you got through the email backlog. But that’s okay. You’ll get used to it. Eventually, it’ll feel less like a performance and more like self-respect.
Start with something easy. Pick a task that normally goes unnoticed and decide to notice it. Celebrate finishing it in whatever way feels good. Put on a silly hat. Dance. Text your best mate. Have a biscuit. Light a candle. Say, “Well done, me.” Out loud. It’s not embarrassing. It’s liberating.
You deserve to feel proud of yourself without waiting for permission. You don’t have to justify your joy to anyone. Especially not the people who think celebrating is excessive. Let them have their beige mediocrity. You? You’re throwing yourself a party for finally unsubscribing from that email list you’ve hated for two years.
Permission to Be Proud
There is so much power in deciding you are allowed to be proud. That you don’t need to achieve something monumental to feel accomplished. That brushing your hair, cooking a meal, or not doom-scrolling for a whole morning is worthy of acknowledgement.
We talk a lot about self-love, but rarely about self-celebration. And honestly, they go hand in hand. When you start cheering yourself on, even in small ways, you change the way you relate to yourself. You stop waiting for the world to validate your effort. You start recognising your own magic, even when it’s subtle.
Let me be the first to say it: you’re doing brilliantly. Even if today’s victory is just putting on a bra or being kind to someone who didn’t deserve it. That’s worth something. That’s worth everything.
Gold stars aren’t just for toddlers. They’re for tired adults who made it to 5pm without crying.
A Life Worth Applauding
I don’t know what your day looks like right now. Maybe you’re reading this in your pyjamas, with laundry piling up and a to-do list that’s longer than your patience. Or maybe you’ve had a cracking morning and everything’s coming up roses. Either way, you’re here. You’re alive. You’re doing your best. And that deserves a bloody celebration.
So throw on the earrings. Buy the salt and pepper squid. Pop that imaginary champagne. Celebrate the fact that you’re surviving in a world that makes it really hard to thrive. That’s not dramatic. That’s resilient.
And if anyone tells you it’s too much? Smile sweetly and say, “Thank you. I think so too.”
Because life is made up of little things. And it’s time we started noticing them. More than that, it’s time we started celebrating them.
Did you drink water today? Open an email without spiralling? Resist the urge to text your ex? Babe, that’s a standing ovation moment. Let’s talk about celebrating like we’re already the icons we think we’ll be once we ‘get our life together.’ Spoiler: you already are.
We Need to Stop Clapping for Basic Decency – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity
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