Gentle Reminders (From Someone Who Has Cried in Coles More Than Once)

Change Is Hard, Even When You Think You’re Good At It

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who handles change well. New jobs? Sure. Moving cities or countries? Done it more times than I can count. Switching routines or stepping into something unknown? Usually, I thrive. But that’s when I’ve chosen the change. That’s when I’ve had some sort of control over it. The moment life decides to throw a curveball without asking? Yeah, Nah. not for me.

There was a time I cried in Coles because my favourite laksa was discontinued. Not a small sniffle either, but full-on panic crying in the World Foods section. Six months earlier, the same thing happened when my go-to gluten-free mac and cheese disappeared from the freezer section. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. Those little familiar comforts mattered. They helped me feel safe, like I had something reliable to hold on to. And eat, obviously.

And let’s not forget the time Lulu, my slightly feral (literally) but too-cute cat, shredded my brand-new curtains before they’d even had a week to settle in. Or when my favourite blouse turned a dull shade of grey in the wash. Sometimes it’s not the big things that push you over the edge. It’s the small, unexpected moments that feel like just one too many. So here are some gentle reminders for when you’re feeling a bit frayed too.

You Don’t Have to Have It All Together

Despite what social media might suggest, no one is actually thriving 100% of the time. Even the people who make colour-coded planners and do sunrise yoga every morning have days where they eat cereal for dinner and feel a bit broken inside. Having it all together is a myth. A shiny, filtered one.

There’s something quietly powerful about letting yourself fall apart every now and then. You don’t need to bounce back immediately. You don’t have to spin your pain into a lesson straight away. Sometimes, you just need to sit with the feelings, cry in a supermarket aisle, and let that be okay.

I used to believe that resilience meant holding it all in, staying calm and composed no matter what. But real resilience is messier than that. It’s showing up anyway, with your puffy eyes and your slightly stained grey blouse, and saying, “Today was a lot, but I’m still here.”

Softness Is Strength, Too

We often associate strength with stoicism. With being unshakeable. But softness? That’s strength too. Being gentle with yourself when things feel hard isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s choosing compassion over criticism.

There’s this idea that if you’re mindful, or spiritual, or even just trying to be a good person, you should always have it together. But gentle living doesn’t mean perfect living. It means meeting yourself where you are, even when where you are is crying over a bowl of spicy rice noodle soup that no longer exists.

Softness is taking a deep breath when your inner critic wants to scream. It’s putting the washing off for another day because your heart feels heavy. It’s choosing to rest, even when productivity culture whispers that you should keep going. There’s bravery in that.

You’re Allowed to Be Disappointed

We’re so quick to talk ourselves out of our feelings. “It’s just a packet of soup,” I told myself, while actively crying about them. But here’s the thing: disappointment isn’t measured by logic. It’s measured by emotion, and emotion doesn’t follow rules.

You’re allowed to be gutted when something you love ends. A few years ago, my favourite series on Reddit No Sleep ended and I bawled my eyes out. I ugly cried for days. You’re allowed to feel sad about the small things. Life is made up of a million tiny moments, and when one of them gets unexpectedly taken away, it makes sense to feel shaken.

Let yourself feel it. Don’t downplay it because it seems silly or small. It matters to you. That’s reason enough.

Rest Is Productive

There’s so much pressure to be doing. Fixing. Improving. Achieving. But some days, the most productive thing you can do is rest. Let your body be still. Let your mind quiet. Let your heart breathe.

You don’t need to earn your rest either. You don’t have to justify it. Tired is enough. Overwhelmed is enough. Feeling a bit lost is enough. Wanting to take a moment for your maladaptive daydreaming is enough. You are allowed to take a break without turning it into a reward for something else.

I used to feel guilty for slow days, and I still do to a certain extent. But, more importantly, what I’ve learnt is that slow days are when I actually return to myself. They’re when I check in, recalibrate, and remember what truly matters (spoiler: not my ever-growing list of discontinued favourite meals). And that’s never a waste.

You Are Not Falling Behind

Comparison is a thief. It will sneak into your quiet moments and try to convince you that you’re not doing enough, not healing fast enough, not succeeding in the right way. But your timeline is not meant to look like anyone else’s.

Life isn’t a race or a checklist. You don’t need to have the dream job, the relationship, the house, or the wardrobe by a certain age. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to be figuring it out, one messy step at a time.

When it feels like everyone else is soaring and you’re just trying to make it through the day without crying in public, remember this: growth doesn’t always look like upward motion. Sometimes it’s quiet, sideways, or barely visible. And although it may look like everyone else has their shit together, they’re probably crying over a broken underwire in their favourite bra, too. You’re not alone. And you’re not behind.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

It’s easy to focus on everything we haven’t done, every goal we haven’t reached, every area where we think we’re lacking. But what if you took a moment to notice what you have done? What you have survived?

You’ve made it through tough days. You’ve navigated heartbreak, uncertainty, and change. You’ve shown up for yourself, even in quiet ways. That’s worth acknowledging!

Sometimes we look for proof that we’re enough in big achievements, when the real proof is in the little things. Like feeding yourself when you didn’t feel like it. Or getting out of bed when the world felt heavy. Or reaching out to a friend even when your words felt stuck. You are doing better than you think.

Things Will Feel Okay Again (Even If They Don’t Right Now)

It might not feel like it today. Maybe you’re stuck in a loop of anxiety, or heartbreak, or that quiet kind of overwhelm that sneaks in when you least expect it. You might feel like you’re barely getting through the day, let alone making progress. But I promise you, this feeling won’t last forever. It never does. Just like the really good gluten-free Mac n Cheese.

Feelings are like waves. They rise, they crash, and then they gently pull back. Sometimes they knock you over completely. Sometimes they just lap at your ankles. But no matter how strong they feel in the moment, they will eventually pass. The goal isn’t to force yourself to feel better, it’s to let the feelings come and go without judging yourself for having them.

One day soon, something will make you laugh without trying. You’ll wake up and realise your chest doesn’t feel quite as heavy. You’ll walk outside and feel the sun on your face, and it’ll feel like something inside you is softening. These moments do come back, even if they’re hiding for now. Hang in there. They’re on their way.

Resilience is crying, then wiping your tears with a Woolies receipt and carrying on.

Final Thoughts

Even when it feels like everything is falling apart, you’ve still got you. You’ve figured things out before, even when it felt impossible. You’ve adapted, pivoted, healed, and tried again. You’ve cried, laughed, rage-cleaned your kitchen, and eaten a box of BBQ Shapes for dinner. And somehow, you’ve kept going.

Yes, it might take time. It might be messy. You might cry over soup and curtains and missing a Reddit series. But you’ll also surprise yourself. A new favourite will emerge. Something you didn’t expect will bring comfort. A different kind of happy will sneak in when you least expect it.

You don’t have to know how everything will work out. You just have to trust that it will. And even when you forget that, I’ll be here to remind you.

We Need to Stop Clapping for Basic Decency – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity

In today's episode of Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity, we're unpacking why we need to stop clapping for basic decency. You know the script. A man texts back within twenty-four hours and we're screenshotting it to the group chat. A man plans a date more than three hours in advance and we call him a unicorn. A man manages to listen, pay attention, and behave like a fully formed adult, and our nervous systems short-circuit because we genuinely don't know how to receive it.Here's the truth nobody is saying out loud. The bar has been dragged so low that Satan himself needs a chiropractor after a competitive round of limbo. We've been culturally trained to be grateful for behaviour that should not require gratitude. We've been told these things are bonuses when they're actually the entry requirement. And in the meantime, women have been quietly doing the basic decency thing forever, without applause, while men get standing ovations for outputs we generated for them.Today we're talking about why a great man is genuinely just an average woman, who benefits when the bar stays low, the invisible labour women have been performing for free for centuries, and the friend-test that cuts straight through every excuse we've ever made for mediocre men. Let's get into it.For more visit BryJaimea.com or follow over on IG @BryJaimea

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