How to Embrace Your Inner Chaos Goblin, Mindfully

When Mindful Living Meets Mayhem

When I first started this blog back in January, I had a very clear image in mind. It was soft, earthy, maybe even a little beige. I wanted it to feel like a warm hug on a cool spring day. A place of tea rituals, slow mornings, and gentle reminders to breathe. And don’t get me wrong, that still exists here. There are days when I light a candle, sip green tea, and float around the house like a soft-focus Pinterest board. But that’s not the only version of me.

Because here’s the truth. I am also an absolute chaos goblin. I have a whole room in my house that is just… unhinged. It’s a disaster. Shoes on the floor, laundry draped like avant-garde art, dead plants that I insist on keeping because “they might come back”. It is a shrine to the part of me that cannot be tamed. The same part of me that cries over Laksa, binge watches Hazbin Hotel on repeat, and thrives in beautiful, blessed disorder.

So when I talk about mindfulness, I’m not talking about a pristine life. I’m not suggesting we all live inside a vanilla-scented bubble of soft lighting and perfect intentions. I’m talking about showing up for your life. All of it. The calm, the chaos, and every weird, messy bit in between. Being a mindful chaos goblin? That’s where the magic lives.

Let Your Weird Live in the Light

The problem with most ideas of gentle living is that they often leave out the messy stuff. They tell us to declutter, simplify, smooth out all the bumps. But what if your bumps are the best bits? What if the odd socks, burnt toast, and emotionally-charged dance breaks are part of the sacred too?

Mindful chaos isn’t about pretending to be tidy when you’re not. It’s about knowing the laundry pile is getting out of hand, but choosing to make a cuppa before you deal with it. It’s embracing the fact that you’re halfway through five different shows, because your brain deserves a delicious little chaos buffet. It’s lighting incense in a room that looks like a tornado danced through it. Because mindfulness isn’t performance. It’s presence.

So yes, your weirdness is welcome here. The part of you that has a drawer full of half-used journals (guilty as charged). The side that starts ten projects and finishes one. The gremlin who eats Cheezels for dinner and gets weepy over a song in a damn cartoon (More Than Anything gets me every. single. time.). Let that version of you live in the light. Give them Cheezels and a playlist. They deserve it.

Rituals, But Make Them Ridiculous

One of my favourite parts of embracing chaos mindfully is turning it into ritual. Not in the lofty, serious sense, but in the absurd, joyfully silly sense. Like the sacred Saturday morning tradition of cleaning the house in a face mask while listening to Edith Piaf. Or the ceremonial flicking through your wardrobe, declaring you have nothing to wear, then wearing an oversized, but incredibly soft, emo-goth t-shirt all day. And a tiara from SheIn.

These little rituals help anchor you, even if they’re ridiculous. They give your inner goblin a sense of rhythm, a bit of flair. Maybe your self-care routine includes screaming into a pillow and then doing a sheet mask. Maybe you meditate on the floor while your cat walks across your face. Or maybe your grounding ritual is watching four hours of conspiracy TikToks while applying seven layers of skincare. Just maybe it’s naming your indoor plants after fictional villains. It all counts. Whatever it is, let it be yours.

And remember, the goal isn’t to fix the chaos. It’s to dance with it. When you stop trying to silence that wild, messy voice inside, and instead hand it a microphone and a cup of tea, things get a lot more fun. Chaos doesn’t have to be destructive. Sometimes it just wants a bit of attention and maybe a tiara.

Softness Doesn’t Mean Silence

Sometimes, when we talk about being soft or gentle, it can feel like there’s no space for loudness. For swearing at your laptop or laughing so hard you snort. But softness doesn’t mean silence. It means kindness. To yourself. To others. To the version of you that’s melting down over a missing sock because it’s been that kind of week.

You can live gently and still be a bit feral. You can eat a lovingly made nourish bowl for lunch and then scream into the void because someone took your parking spot. Both are valid. The point isn’t to be peaceful all the time. The point is to notice. To let yourself feel things and then meet those feelings with curiosity instead of shame.

So go ahead and be soft and scrappy. Cry because the moon looks too pretty. Wear glitter to the supermarket. Throw a tantrum and then apologise to your houseplants. This is your life. Let it be ridiculous and real.

Curate the Chaos (A Little Bit)

Now, I’m not saying let your inner goblin take over completely (although honestly, some days that might be exactly what you need.) But there is something quite magical about curating a little chaos. Picking your mess. Choosing your quirks with intention. It becomes less about spiralling and more about celebrating.

For me, it’s keeping a shoe pile by the door that I lovingly refer to as the “Bermuda Triangle of Soles”. It’s knowing my plants might not survive, but putting them in cute pots anyway. It’s scribbling inspirational quotes on my bathroom mirror with orange whiteboard markers because sticky notes are for amateurs. These aren’t mistakes. They’re little declarations of personality.

Chaos, when held gently, becomes charm. And when you choose it, it stops being something to hide. You can still be mindful while having a room that looks like the inside of your brain exploded. It’s not about perfect balance. It’s about integration. Let your mindfulness and your mess co-exist. They’re friends now.

Being a Human Is Weird

Honestly, being a person is just bizarre. We’re all winging it. Some of us are just doing it with matching Tupperware, and others are doing it with takeaway containers from three different restaurants. It’s all the same in the end. The only real difference is how much shame you attach to your quirks.

If you want to be both someone who meditates and someone who stays up until 2am repeatedly clicking “Add to Cart”, do it. If your idea of a reset includes crying, a bubble bath, and dancing in the lounge in a unicorn onesie, lean in. If you sometimes have existential dread at 3pm and then feel fine by 3:08, congratulations. You’re human.

Let yourself be weird. Mindfully. Let the chaos be part of the story, not a footnote you try to hide. You don’t have to be consistent. You just have to be real.

You can light a candle and still be a bit of a menace. That’s called balance.

Chaos Is a Season, Too

Just like nature, we move through seasons. There are the soft, beige days when everything feels still and sacred. And then there are the days where you forgot to brush your hair, your fridge contains 7 types of mustard* and a jar of horseradish but nothing to actually eat, and the notifications on your phone are mystery number that is 99+. That’s not a failure. That’s just part of the cycle.

The trick is to meet yourself where you are. If your inner goblin is throwing a tantrum, give it a biscuit and a warm corner. If your inner zen monk wants to light a candle and breathe deeply, let them. You can be both. You are both. Mindfulness doesn’t mean controlling everything. It means noticing what’s present. Right now. Even if that’s a little unhinged. Especially if it is.

So light the candle. Wear the tiara. Feed the chaos goblin. You’re not a mess. You’re a masterpiece in progress with Cheezel fingers and a very specific playlist

*Dijon, American, English, Wholegrain, German, Mustard Pickles, French

If you’ve been quietly battling your inner chaos goblin while trying to maintain a soft, mindful exterior, it’s time to stop choosing. Let them both have a seat at the table. Embrace your quirks, laugh at the mess, and give your chaos a cuddle. Let this be your invitation to live fully, weirdly, and wonderfully – with green tea in one hand and a glittery goblin crown in the other. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be present. Now go on, light a candle and let your chaos breathe, my goblin girlie.

You Are Not Entitled to an Answer – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity

In this episode of Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity, we're unpacking why you are not entitled to an answer. Specifically, we're talking about the strange little corner of modern dating where a few days of app chat somehow becomes an emotional contract, and suddenly a man you've never met believes your silence requires a formal explanation, a debrief, and possibly a follow-up meeting with management.I have two stories for you. One man who talked almost exclusively about himself, ignored the fact that I was sick, and then followed up a week later asking whether I'd reconsidered his "request for clarification". And another who became offended because I didn't respond to his selfie within two hours while I was lying in a dark room with a migraine. Sir. Please be serious.Because here's the thing. Before you've met someone, you do not owe them unlimited access to your time, attention, reassurance, or emotional labour. You don't have to justify why the vibes changed. You don't need a reason they'll consider reasonable. You are allowed to disengage because something felt off, because you changed your mind, because you met someone else, or because you're in your luteal phase and frankly the entire world can wait.Today we're talking about the difference between ghosting and simply disengaging, why demanding closure can become a boundary violation, the exhausting expectation that women should manage men's feelings for them, and why you do not need to JADE, justify, argue, defend, or explain, when you've already decided you're done. Let's get into it.Key Takeaways:A few days of chatting does not create a debt. Matching on an app, exchanging messages, or talking on the phone does not give someone a claim on your attention. Until you've actually built a connection, you are allowed to walk away without submitting supporting documentation.Closure is not something another person can demand from you. Asking once is one thing. Continuing to push after someone has clearly disengaged is not persistence or emotional maturity. It's refusing to accept the answer you've already been given.You do not need to JADE. You don't have to justify, argue, defend, or explain why you're no longer interested. The reason doesn't have to be good enough for him. It just has to be yours.Pre-date silence and post-date silence are not the same thing. If you've never met, disengaging is part of app dating. Once you've shared an actual date or developed a genuine connection, a simple goodbye becomes basic courtesy. Nobody needs a dissertation, but acknowledging another human being matters.Sometimes they don't miss you. They miss the audience. Someone can seem interested while actually being interested in having your attention. Real connection requires curiosity about you. If the only time they become deeply engaged is when you're leaving, pay attention to that.For more visit ⁠BryJaimea.com⁠ or follow over on IG ⁠@BryJaimea

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