How to Walk in Heels When You're CLumsy ~ Life & Style with Bry Jaimea

Heels and I Go Way Back

I have been wearing heels since before I even had anywhere to wear them. There is photographic evidence of me at age three wobbling around my bedroom in my mum’s 80s stilettos, trying to master the fine art of teetering like a proper adult. By the time I hit my twenties, I was strutting through clubs in six-inch platforms like I was auditioning for a Beyoncé tour. No rolled ankles. No dramatic spills. Just pure, unadulterated heel mastery.

Now, I say this not to flex (okay maybe a little), but to assure you that my heel-walking skills have been hard-earned. I’m not some naturally graceful fairy. I’m clumsy. I trip over flat surfaces and sometimes forget how legs work. But something magical happens when I step into heels. I become a taller, sassier, slightly-more-dangerous version of myself. It’s like power dressing for your feet.

And I get it, not everyone shares my chaotic Cinderella energy. Maybe you’ve tried heels before and ended up doing a very public Bambi-on-ice routine. Maybe the thought of stilettos fills you with dread. But I promise, it doesn’t have to be that way. With a little practice and a lot of attitude, you can walk in heels like you were born doing it. Or at least fake it well enough that no one notices the panic in your eyes.

Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.

Marilyn Monroe

Start With the Right Heels

Let’s get one thing out of the way: if you’re new to heels, do not start with sky-high stilettos. I don’t care how pretty they are or how much they were on sale. If the heel is thin enough to puncture the space-time continuum, leave it alone for now. You want something with a solid base, like a chunky heel or a wedge. Bonus points if there’s a platform to help balance the height.

A good beginner heel is like training wheels for your feet. They’ll still give you that glorious lift, but with less risk of toppling over like a newborn giraffe. Look for shoes with ankle straps or a closed back, as they help keep your foot stable. Slingbacks are cute until you’re halfway across the room and your shoe decides it’s had enough of this nonsense.

Also, break them in. I know, you want to save them for your big debut, but wear them around the house first. Do the dishes in them. Vacuum in them. Rehearse your Oscar acceptance speech in them. Let your feet get used to the height and the structure. You’ll be amazed at how much more confident you feel once the shoes feel like part of you.

Practice Like It’s a Sport (Because It Is)

Walking in heels is not just walking. It’s core engagement, balance, and drama. It’s an event. You can’t just slap on some stilettos and stomp out the door like you’re heading to Woolies for a bag of frozen peas. No. You walk in heels with intention, darling. You are now the main character.

Start by taking small steps. You are not sprinting. You are not power-walking. Instead, you are gliding. Put one foot directly in front of the other as if you’re walking on an invisible tightrope. Yes, it feels weird at first. Yes, you will question every life choice that led you here. Keep going. You’ll get the hang of it.

Use your hips. No, not a full runway strut (unless that’s your vibe, in which case, live your best life), but let your hips sway slightly to help keep your balance. It’s all about shifting your weight in a smooth, controlled way. Don’t lock your knees or clench your fists like you’re marching into battle. Loosen up. Pretend you’re in a music video. That helps more than you’d think.

Embrace the Chaos (But Prepare for It)

Let’s be real. Even the most seasoned heel-wearers have had their moments. I once had a heel get stuck in a pavement crack the width of a single spaghetti strand. Did I panic? Of course. Did I recover? You better believe I did. Heels come with a certain amount of chaos. The key is learning how to own it.

If you’re going to be walking on cobblestones, grass, gravel, or anything that looks like it could betray you, plan accordingly. Block heels are your friend. So are rubber soles. And if you know you’ll be walking long distances, bring a backup pair of flats in your bag. There is no shame in switching halfway through the night. You wore the heels. You did the thing. Hooray! You win.

Also, learn the art of the graceful stumble. If you do trip, don’t freeze or flail. Just turn it into a dramatic spin and act like it was intentional. And laugh. Honestly, most people are too busy worrying about their own feet to notice yours. Confidence is louder than clumsiness. Remember that.

Make It a Whole Vibe

Heels aren’t just about height. They’re about attitude. You could be wobbling like a newborn lamb, but if you’re doing it with a killer outfit, hair on point, and a smug little smile, you’ll still look fabulous. Walk with your chin up. Shoulders back. Don’t look at your feet like they’ve betrayed you. Look ahead like the world is your runway.

If you’re feeling a bit uncertain, practice your heel walk with some music that makes you feel powerful. You need a soundtrack. A theme song. Something to make you feel like your presence is a gift to the pavement. I personally favour a bit of Lady Gaga (Fame era) or Taylor Swift (1989 era). Something dramatic and deliciously over-the-top.

And finally, know your limits. If your feet are screaming and you’re limping like a wounded deer, take them off. No one is impressed by a martyr. True elegance is knowing when to take a seat and order a water. Or a plate of chips. Or both. You’re fabulous either way.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy heels. And that’s kind of the same thing.

You’re Not Alone (We’ve All Been There)

I have seen it all. The slow-motion stumbles. The duck-footed shuffle. The leaning-on-friends-for-dear-life strut. It’s part of the process. No one just wakes up knowing how to walk in heels like they were born on a Paris runway. You’ll have your Bambi days. But you’ll also have your goddess days. And those are worth it.

Ask any heel-wearer and they’ll have a horror story. Blisters. Wobbles. That one time their heel came clean off in the middle of a work event. It happens. Laugh about it. Learn from it. Keep going. Confidence builds with every step.

And look, if all else fails, just remember if you’re a shorty like me (5ft2!) you deserve to make eye contact with people too. Sometimes you need the extra height to feel seen. Sometimes you just need to feel tall enough to reach the biscuits on the top shelf. Either way, put the heels on. Stand up tall. Own the chaos.

We Need to Stop Clapping for Basic Decency – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity

In today's episode of Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity, we're unpacking why we need to stop clapping for basic decency. You know the script. A man texts back within twenty-four hours and we're screenshotting it to the group chat. A man plans a date more than three hours in advance and we call him a unicorn. A man manages to listen, pay attention, and behave like a fully formed adult, and our nervous systems short-circuit because we genuinely don't know how to receive it.Here's the truth nobody is saying out loud. The bar has been dragged so low that Satan himself needs a chiropractor after a competitive round of limbo. We've been culturally trained to be grateful for behaviour that should not require gratitude. We've been told these things are bonuses when they're actually the entry requirement. And in the meantime, women have been quietly doing the basic decency thing forever, without applause, while men get standing ovations for outputs we generated for them.Today we're talking about why a great man is genuinely just an average woman, who benefits when the bar stays low, the invisible labour women have been performing for free for centuries, and the friend-test that cuts straight through every excuse we've ever made for mediocre men. Let's get into it.For more visit BryJaimea.com or follow over on IG @BryJaimea

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