Healing Doesn’t Always Come Wrapped in a Bow
Some days healing looks like lighting a fancy candle and doing breathwork with a playlist called “Glow Up Energy.” Other days it looks like crying in the car park of Woolies because they were out of gluten free BBQ shapes and your period is two days late. Healing isn’t linear, and it definitely isn’t aesthetic all the time. You don’t always get a montage with uplifting music and a glowing complexion. Sometimes you get crumbs on your shirt and a weird feeling in your chest you can’t explain.
For me, healing has looked like sleeping too much and then not sleeping at all. Like going from making elaborate mood boards for my dream life to lying on the floor wondering if my cat is judging me (he is). But it’s also looked like answering my phone when a friend calls, or going for a walk just because the weather is nice. It’s subtle. It creeps in like sunlight through the blinds you forgot to shut.
And healing, annoyingly, doesn’t always feel good. It often feels like grief. Or anger. Or nothing at all. But if you’ve been feeling like you’re going backwards, or like everything is too quiet to be progress, let me gently throw this list at your head like a foam brick of reassurance. You might be healing more than you realise.
1. You’re Setting Tiny Boundaries (Even If You Don’t Say Them Out Loud)
Maybe you didn’t reply straight away to that text. Maybe you muttered “nope” under your breath when someone asked something unreasonable. Maybe you cancelled a plan that felt too heavy. These are all tiny, sacred acts of healing. You’re choosing yourself, even if it’s in whispers.
You don’t have to post a boundary quote on Instagram to be healing. You just have to honour the tiny shifts in your behaviour that say, “Actually, no thank you.” Even if it’s just not laughing at a joke that makes you uncomfortable. Even if it’s deleting a number you keep mentally checking in on.
Boundaries aren’t always loud. Sometimes they’re just you, deciding not to engage. Deciding to close the laptop. To go to bed instead of sending the last word text. It counts. You’re choosing peace.
2. You’re Feeling Your Feelings Instead of Outsourcing Them
This one took me ages. I used to eat my feelings. Or drink them. Or scroll through TikTok pretending I wasn’t having them. Now, sometimes, I actually let them sit. I let myself be sad. I let the disappointment sting. And while it’s not fun, it’s healing.
If you’ve found yourself crying and letting it be instead of trying to ‘fix’ it straight away, that’s a win. If you’ve noticed a pattern or felt a trigger and paused before reacting, that’s a massive step. Feeling your feelings is a skill, and you’re getting better at it.
Even when it sucks. Even when it’s ugly. Especially then. Because you’re no longer running. You’re staying with yourself. That’s the healing.
3. You’re Bored
Yes, this is a sign. If you’ve been used to chaos, drama, trauma, or just really bad situationships, peace can feel boring. Stability can feel flat. If you’re bored, it might be because you’re no longer in survival mode. And that is huge.
Healing sometimes feels like nothing. Like sitting in silence and not knowing what to do with it. But that silence? That’s your nervous system finally having a break. That’s your cortisol levels not doing backflips. That’s your brain not scanning the room for danger.
If your life suddenly feels like a beige cardigan, congratulations. You’re not in fight-or-flight anymore. Enjoy the calm. Let it wash over you. It might be the most healing thing you’ve ever experienced.
4. You’re Cringing at Your Past Self (But With Kindness)
You know those moments when you remember what you used to tolerate? The texts you sent? The emotional acrobatics you performed to keep someone around? And now you look back like… oh no baby, what is you doing?
That cringe? That’s self-awareness. That’s growth. That’s healing. You’re not judging your past self (well, maybe a little), but you’re also not wanting to go back. You can see how far you’ve come.
Maybe you even have compassion now. You don’t need to hate who you were to love who you are becoming. The cringe is just a sign your standards have been raised. And that, my friend, is healing.
5. You’re Repeating Patterns (But You’re Aware Now)
Listen. Sometimes you still go back to the bad habit. You text the guy. You binge the snacks. You do the thing you swore you were done with. But now? You notice. You see it happening. You know why.
That’s massive. Self-awareness doesn’t always mean instant change. It means conscious choices. You’re not stuck on autopilot anymore. You’re catching yourself in the loop and learning how to step out of it.
Progress isn’t perfection. It’s recognition. You’re not broken. You’re just rewiring. And it takes time. You’re doing better than you think.
6. You’re Daydreaming Again
When you’re deeply unwell, daydreaming disappears. The future feels blank. Hope feels too expensive. But healing often shows up as imagination. You start seeing colour again. You start picturing things that make you smile.
Maybe it’s the outfit you’ll wear when you finally feel like yourself. Maybe it’s a little flat with bookshelves and a perfect chair. Maybe it’s just the idea of laughing in the sun with someone you haven’t met yet. Whatever it is, it matters.
Hope is healing. And if you’ve caught yourself dreaming again, planning a little, romanticising again, that means your soul is coming back online. That means your magic is returning.
7. You’re Letting Go of the Timeline
This one is brutal but real. If you’ve stopped panicking about when you’ll be ‘better,’ when it will all be fixed, when love will arrive, when the job will click, that’s healing. Because you’re learning to sit in the in-between.
You’re no longer rushing your growth. You’re not forcing the caterpillar to become a butterfly. You’re tending to your cocoon. You’re learning patience. You’re trusting that things unfold in their own time.
When you’re healing, time stops being a weapon. You stop using it to shame yourself. And that shift? That surrender? That’s real healing. Even if it looks like doing nothing.
Just Because It’s Quiet, Doesn’t Mean It’s Not Working
Healing is sneaky. It doesn’t always announce itself. It won’t always come with fireworks or fanfare. But if you’ve read this and gone, “Wait… that’s me,” then babe, you’re doing it. You’re healing.
You’re learning how to sit with yourself. How to choose softness. How to protect your peace. You’re becoming the person your past self needed, and your future self is already cheering for you. Keep going. Even if it feels slow. Even if it feels silly. Even if your version of healing today is eating toast and crying in the bath.
You’re healing. And I’m proud of you. Keep going.
We Need to Stop Clapping for Basic Decency – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity
If this post helped, inspired, or made you smile, you can support my work with a tea or tip over on Ko-fi. Every bit helps keep the chaos flowing.
Check Out My Other Forms
Discover more from Life & Style with Bry Jaimea
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
