How to Use Aromatherapy for Relaxation

Quick note: essential oils are powerful little things, and some of them are not safe during pregnancy, while breastfeeding, or around small children and pets. If you’re pregnant, trying to be, or have a fluffy demon like Lulu wandering around your space, do a quick safety check on every oil before you diffuse, dab, or bathe in it. A two minute Google or a chat with your GP or midwife will save you a lot of stress. Better to be the woman who checks than the woman who finds out the hard way.

How to Use Aromatherapy for Relaxation and Healing

My Whole House Smells Like a Personality Disorder

If you walked into my flat at any given moment, you would be hit with a wall of scent that depends entirely on what kind of day I’m having. Some mornings it’s bright citrus and rosemary because I’m pretending to be the kind of woman who answers emails before 9am. Some evenings it’s sandalwood and a stick of Nag Champa incense because I’ve decided to be mysterious and slightly witchy. Other nights it’s something soft and floral because my nervous system is fried and I need to be wrapped in a soft blanket of olfactory comfort.

This isn’t an accident. I’ve spent years learning that scent is one of the cheapest, fastest, most effective mood adjusters available to a chaos goblin with a packed schedule. It’s not magic. It’s biology. Scent hits the limbic system before your conscious brain has time to argue, which means you can shift your emotional weather in about thirty seconds flat. Cheaper than therapy. Quicker than wine. Less judgmental than your group chat.

So let’s talk about how to actually use aromatherapy without buying every oil at the wellness shop or building a shrine to your diffuser. You don’t need to be a qualified anything. You just need to know what you’re trying to feel, and what scent gets you there.

Pick the Oil for the Job You Want Done

Here’s where most people go wrong, babe. They buy lavender because the internet told them to, then wonder why they feel nothing. Lavender is brilliant, but it’s not a personality. It’s a tool. And like all tools, it works best when you’re using it for the right job.

If you want to wind down, reach for lavender, chamomile, sandalwood, or ylang ylang*. These are your “I’ve had enough of today” oils. They slow your heart rate and soften the edges of your thoughts. If you need to wake up and stop dissociating into your matcha, citrus oils are your best friend. Lemon, grapefruit, sweet orange. They’re bright, clean, and they make you feel like you have your life together even when you objectively do not. Peppermint and rosemary also do the trick if you need to actually concentrate, which is a separate skill entirely.

For emotional regulation, frankincense, bergamot, rose, and clary sage are the heavy hitters. These are the oils for when you’re feeling a bit feral and need to be coaxed back into being a person. And for the physical stuff, like blocked sinuses or a tight neck or that one shoulder that holds all your unprocessed feelings, eucalyptus, tea tree, and ginger are the move. Build a small collection of five or six oils that cover your main moods. You’ll use them more than you think.

*I personally detest ylang ylang, but others find it a vibe. To each their own.

Find the Method That Actually Fits Your Life

There’s no point buying beautiful oils if they’re going to sit in a drawer because the method feels like too much effort. The whole point of aromatherapy is that it slots into your existing life. Not a separate project. Not another thing on your to do list. A diffuser is the easiest entry point. Add water, add a few drops, press the button, walk away. It runs in the background while you do literally anything else. Mine is on more often than not, and it’s done more for my mental state than any productivity app.

If you don’t have a diffuser, you don’t need one. Put a drop in your palms, rub them together, cup your hands over your nose, and breathe deeply for thirty seconds. That’s it. That’s the whole technique. You can also pop a drop or two on a tissue and keep it in your bag for stress emergencies. Public transport, work meetings, that one relative at family dinner. Whatever you need to get through. For something more deliberate, a few drops in a carrier oil like jojoba or sweet almond, then dabbed on your wrists, temples, or behind the ears, gives you a portable scent that lasts for hours.

Aromatherapy baths are genuinely one of the best things you can do for yourself. A handful of Epsom salts, a few drops of lavender or chamomile mixed into a carrier oil first so they actually disperse, and twenty minutes of doing nothing. For the bedroom, a pillow mist is a cheap luxury. Distilled water, a splash of witch hazel, a few drops of lavender and chamomile in a spray bottle. Spritz the pillow before bed and your brain starts signalling sleep before you’ve even brushed your teeth. Small rituals. Big returns.

Match the Scent to the Mood You’re Trying to Manufacture

This is where it gets fun, honey. Once you know your oils and your methods, you can start engineering your day. Stressed and overstimulated? Diffuse lavender, chamomile, and bergamot while you do whatever needs doing. Roll a diluted blend on your wrists before a meeting that’s making you twitchy. The scent itself becomes a cue. Your body learns the smell means “we’re safe now, you can stand down.”

Can’t sleep? Lavender, sandalwood, and vetiver are the holy trinity. Vetiver is a heavy, grounding oil that smells like wet earth and feels like being tucked in by someone who actually loves you. Add a drop to your pillow, or run a diffuser by your bed for the hour before sleep. If you need energy without reaching for green tea at 4pm, citrus and peppermint will pull you out of an afternoon slump without the crash. I keep a roller of grapefruit and rosemary in my bag for this exact purpose. It’s saved me from disappointing naps more times than I can count.

For physical stuff, get specific. A steam inhalation with eucalyptus does more for blocked sinuses than most over the counter sprays. Just boil water, add a few drops, drape a towel over your head, and breathe. Sore muscles get a massage blend with ginger and a carrier oil. Tension headaches respond beautifully to peppermint on the temples, though keep it well away from your eyes unless you want to cry for completely the wrong reasons. The point isn’t to replace medical care. The point is to give your body a little extra support while it does its thing.

Build Blends That Belong to You

Once you’ve used the basics for a while, you’ll start to develop a feel for what works together. This is the bit where it stops being a tutorial and starts being a practice. Try three drops of lavender, two of chamomile, and one of sandalwood for a deep calm blend. Three drops of grapefruit, two of peppermint, and one of rosemary for a wake up blend that actually delivers. Three drops of lavender, two of vetiver, and one of ylang ylang for a sleep blend that feels like being wrapped up in something soft.

These are starting points, not commandments. The ratios can shift. The combinations can evolve. Your tastes will change with the seasons, with your mood, with what your life is asking of you. Keep notes if you’re the kind of person who keeps notes. Throw oils into a diffuser and see what happens if you’re not. Both are valid. The only rule is that it has to actually feel good to you, not to whoever wrote the aromatherapy textbook.

The real magic of aromatherapy isn’t in any single oil. It’s in the act of choosing to tend to yourself in small, sensory, slightly delusional ways throughout the day. You don’t need a perfect set up. You don’t need expensive bottles. You just need a few good oils, a willingness to experiment, and the understanding that small rituals shape big moods. Light the incense. Run the diffuser. Spritz the pillow. Let your house smell like a personality. Let your day be quietly, gently, ridiculously scented in your favour.

We Need to Stop Clapping for Basic Decency – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity

In today's episode of Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity, we're unpacking why we need to stop clapping for basic decency. You know the script. A man texts back within twenty-four hours and we're screenshotting it to the group chat. A man plans a date more than three hours in advance and we call him a unicorn. A man manages to listen, pay attention, and behave like a fully formed adult, and our nervous systems short-circuit because we genuinely don't know how to receive it.Here's the truth nobody is saying out loud. The bar has been dragged so low that Satan himself needs a chiropractor after a competitive round of limbo. We've been culturally trained to be grateful for behaviour that should not require gratitude. We've been told these things are bonuses when they're actually the entry requirement. And in the meantime, women have been quietly doing the basic decency thing forever, without applause, while men get standing ovations for outputs we generated for them.Today we're talking about why a great man is genuinely just an average woman, who benefits when the bar stays low, the invisible labour women have been performing for free for centuries, and the friend-test that cuts straight through every excuse we've ever made for mediocre men. Let's get into it.For more visit BryJaimea.com or follow over on IG @BryJaimea

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