The Frog Prince Was Just a Frog After All
If you haven’t already heard, our queen Wizard Liz got cheated on while four months pregnant by a man who looks like he still lives off Monster energy drinks and his mum’s Netflix account. Caught sliding into random women’s Snapchat DMs trying to cheat like he was ordering takeaway. And in true Liz fashion, she didn’t weep, she didn’t beg, she didn’t waste a single breath. She packed her bags, kept her crown straight, and left him in the dust. Honestly, I wish I had done the same with every ex who made a fool out of me.
But I didn’t. I gave second chances. And thirds. I clung to potential, forgave because that’s what we were taught to do, blah blah blah. Spoiler: after cheating, that version of happy ever after didn’t exist. I wanted to be the exception, the one who fixed them, the reason they changed. Instead, I ended up the therapist, the punching bag, and the backup plan. If you know, you know.
So this isn’t just a roast session (although believe me, I’ve got the fire ready). It’s a little excavation into why some men cheat when they’ve already got someone incredible beside them. Someone who cooks, cares, forgives, supports, and occasionally even shaves their back for them. Someone who deserves better.
It’s Not About You, It’s About Their Ego
This is the hardest pill to swallow: it was never about you. You could’ve been Beyoncé and he still would’ve flirted with Susan from accounting. Because cheating isn’t about finding someone better. It’s about feeding an ego that feels small, insecure, and threatened by your strength.
Bad men don’t cheat because you lacked something. They cheat because they lack everything. Emotional maturity. Self-awareness. The ability to regulate their feelings without sticking their tongue out in someone else’s inbox. You being good to them doesn’t make them good men. Sometimes it just makes them feel even worse about who they are.
When you’re a woman who knows who she is, who communicates, supports, and shows up, it can be intimidating. You become a mirror reflecting everything they are not. And instead of growing, they escape. Instead of healing, they self-sabotage. Enter Snapchat. Exit loyalty.
Cheating is About Control
Cheating isn’t just betrayal. It’s domination dressed in charm. A way for bad men to keep you unsteady, guessing, clinging to scraps of affection while they pull the strings. It’s not about temptation, it’s about power. About having you wrapped around their finger while they play games behind your back.
The secret messages, the double lives, the sly little smirks when they think you’re none the wiser – it all feeds a sense of superiority. They thrive on your confusion, on your pain. Every time you question yourself instead of them, they win. It becomes a test: how much can they get away with before you leave?
Cheating becomes their way of controlling the narrative. They decide the rules. They provoke the fallout. And while you’re left picking up the emotional pieces, they get to pretend they’re just “misunderstood” or “struggling.” But let’s be honest: they’re not struggling. They’re orchestrating.
Some Men See Goodness as Weakness
Oh this one’s a dagger. Some men see your kindness and compassion not as strength, but as weakness. They think because you forgive, you’ll keep forgiving. That your softness is naïveté. That being nurturing means you’ll tolerate being treated like second choice.
They misread loyalty as desperation. They think you won’t leave, because you haven’t yet. And that is precisely why they keep testing you. Not because they don’t know what they have, but because they don’t believe you’ll walk away from it.
Cheating, for them, is a twisted way to confirm that they’re still wanted, that they still have options, and that they can push your boundaries without consequences. It’s not about sex or validation. It’s about proving to themselves that they still have control over something.
They Want to Be Chosen Without Earning It
Being loved unconditionally is one thing. Being worshipped for doing the bare minimum is another. A lot of these men want the perks of a healthy relationship without the emotional labour that comes with it. They want 50/50 without ever putting in the groundwork. They’re out here asking for equity when they don’t even have a downpayment on emotional intelligence.
They want to be chosen and celebrated just for existing, for breathing in your general direction. The second you start asking for more – actual communication, effort, emotional presence – they get defensive. Not because you’re asking for too much, but because they know they can’t deliver.
So what do they do instead? They slink back into the DMs of women who don’t know them well enough to have expectations. Who haven’t seen their inconsistency. Who won’t question their lack of self-awareness. You expecting more doesn’t make you demanding. It makes you emotionally fluent. And they’re still stuck in the toddler phase of emotional literacy.
Cheating is Their Way Out (Without Actually Leaving)
You know what’s wild? Some men cheat because they want out, but don’t want to be the bad guy who ends things. So they destroy it from within. It’s the emotional equivalent of setting the house on fire so you don’t have to pay rent anymore.
Instead of communicating their doubts, discomfort, or desire to leave, they self-sabotage. They hope you find out. They want you to end it, so they can say, “Well, you left me.” It absolves them of guilt and lets them play victim.
It also lets them jump into the next thing guilt-free. Because now they can say they were already broken up (in their head) before anything happened. Mental gymnastics worthy of an Olympic medal. Or at least a gold star in delusion.
Some Just Think They Can Get Away With It
Let’s not sugar-coat it. Some men cheat because they think they can. It’s entitlement dressed as charm. They believe they’re clever enough to get away with it, that they can spin a good enough lie, gaslight you just enough to confuse you, and manipulate the situation so you question your instincts instead of their integrity.
They rely on your empathy. On your pattern of forgiveness. On your belief that people can change. And they weaponise that against you. Every apology is rehearsed, every tear conveniently timed. It’s not remorse, it’s damage control. Because for them, consequences are optional. The game is seeing how far they can go before they lose you.
These men are selfish to the core. They cheat not out of lack, but greed. They want loyalty from you while offering chaos in return, and crave admiration without earning it. They’ll turn every confrontation into a debate, twist your words, and make you feel guilty for even bringing it up. That’s not love. That’s narcissism in action.
You are not a rehab centre for broken men. You are not a test run. And you are not responsible for their healing, their childhood wounds, or their broken moral compass. If they want to act single, let them. Just don’t let them do it while they still have access to your heart, your home, or your time.
Healing After the Hurt
Being cheated on by someone you loved is a gut punch to your self-worth. It makes you question everything: your judgement, your value, your past. But hear me: their actions are not a reflection of your worth. They are a reflection of their inability to rise to your level.
They saw your light and tried to dim it. Saw your crown and tried to knock it off, not because you weren’t worthy, but because they were never secure enough to stand beside you. Their betrayal came from jealousy, insecurity, and fear. They needed you to doubt yourself so they could keep control. But straighten that crown, queen. Hold your head high. If Liz can walk, so can you.
You were good. You loved hard. And you tried. That is not something to be ashamed of. That is something to be proud of. And the right person will never make you feel like your love was too much, or your standards too high.
They tried to break you so they wouldn’t have to rise to meet you – remember that every time you doubt your worth.
Choose You, Always
Whether you left with grace or with tears in your eyes and a bin bag of clothes, you left. Or maybe you’re still in it, trying to make sense of the mess. That’s okay too. Healing isn’t linear. There’s no timeline for moving on.
But let this be your sign: your softness is not a weakness. Your love is not a liability. And your standards are not too high just because someone failed to meet them. If anything, they were too low for too long. And while bad men may have done you dirty, please remember: not all men lie. Not all men cheat. There are good ones out there, the kind who won’t turn into frogs when the clock strikes midnight. Don’t let one heartbreak make you afraid to love again.
And honestly? It doesn’t matter why they cheated. The fact is, they did. They made the choice. They broke the trust. That in itself is unforgivable. Because cheating isn’t just a mistake – it’s a deliberate betrayal. It proves they can lie to your face. That they don’t respect you. That they never saw your heart as something worth protecting. And you are worth more than that.
So here’s to you. To your healing. To your glow-up. To learning to leave the table when crumbs are offered and becoming the woman who never settles again. Because the truth is, you were never too much. They were simply never enough.
Remember: He slid into their DM’s. Now it’s your turn to slide into your power.
We Need to Stop Clapping for Basic Decency – Chaos, Crumbs and Clarity
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