You know those people who seem to have an answer for everything (but in a non-smart arse kinda way)? Well, that’s me. Throughout my life I’ve been that person that people come to for advice, the shoulder to cry on, and that bish who tells people exactly how it is to help them realise, damn, bish may be onto something! But being such a heavyweight is no easy task, and I am more than happy to admit I’m not perfect and my advice may not always be the best.
But I can only speak from the life lessons I have learned throughout my own experiences.
Life isn’t easy for any of us and even the people we think have it all sorted out have their own difficulties. There is no easy path throughout life, no matter what our demographic, but as much as life throws at us it’s how we respond to these little bumps in the road that determine how we develop and change as individuals. We all have different coping mechanisms, however,these mechanisms are malleable and can be strengthened (or weakened) or given up completely in favour of something more suitable.
It’s Victor or Victim mentality, and it’s our choice to be one or the other.
That’s why I thought I’d pull together a few of the lessons I’ve learned throughout my life that help me manage and cope with whatever crap life throws at me. I’m not saying that everyone should adopt these lessons as what works for me, may not work for you, however, if you are looking for a lesson or two to maybehelp you along the bumpy road that is life, continue reading below.
Five Not-So-Little Life Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way
Learn to Take Responsibility for My Actions
None of us are perfect, we’re simply not made that way. But all too often we will try to blame everyone else, everything else, for any wrongs in our lives, rather than looking at ourselves and realising that we do have to accept some level of responsibility* – whether these wrongs came about via our action or inaction. Once we learn to identify and accept our part in whatever situation we’re involved in, whether it’s good or bad, only then can we grow from these lessons.
As humans, we should be constantly growing and evolving, and how are we ever able to do such a thing if we can’t look at our own actions and realise – aw damn, I done fucked up. Without seeing, and acknowledging, where we went “wrong” in any given situation, we will never learn how to improve upon it for next time.
Learn to Say No to Family and Friends
How often do we end up disappointed in an outcome or situation because well, it wasn’t want we actually wanted? We all have unique ideas and aspirations, dreams and visions, and sometimes we find people who understand these and other times… not so much. It’s when dealing with these others who have conflicting visions that we have to learn to put our feet down,put ourselves first, and say “No.”
This is incredibly important in our personal lives and with our family as it can be incredibly difficult to say no to mums and dads, or even best friends – these are people we don’t want to hurt or disappoint.However, at the end of the day, or at the end of our days, what’s more important: Not having disappointed your family, or not having disappointed yourself?
Learn to do things that Challenge Me
Fear is blinding force in our lives and has a bad habit of preventing us from living our best lives, or taking a chance on our dreams. Yet how will we ever experience life to its fullest unless we challenge ourselves and our spirits? More often than not we’re our own worst enemies when it comes to trying anything new and this is due to the fact we allow our fear to own us,rather than us taking control of said fear and owning it.
Without conquering our fears and doing the things that challenge us we will succumb to stagnation, and ultimately unhappiness: we won’t travel, or start that business, or hell, we may not even take a chance on a new relationship. Use fear as a driving force to push you forward into the unknown,rather than a force to hold you back.
Learn to Find the Positive in Every* Situation
As difficult as this one sounds, I consider it to be one of the most important lessons I’ve learned throughout my life. It’s all too easy to get bogged down in the worst of every situation rather than focusing on the positive – in fact, sometimes it can be difficult to find the positive. Yet, no matter what life throws at us*, no matter how difficult, there is always something positive to come out of it.
The positive in a situation may not be something tangible and could even be an emotional lesson (you’ve grown stronger, more resilient, or perhaps lost a friendship with someone who always stressed you out and you can finally breathe easier), but focusing on that intangible or emotional lesson will only help your personal growth and development. Soon you’ll begin to realise that no matter what life throws at you, you can take it and manage it – good and bad.
Learn to Embrace Love
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Embrace love. The love of your family. The love of your friends. The love of strangers. The love of your significant other. The love of your pet. Love helps us accept our faults, gives us the strength to face our fears, and helps see the beauty in every moment, no matter how bleak.
As scary as love can be, especially to those of us who have been hurt or who are hurting, to me there is no greater reward, award, currency or feeling, than pure unconditional love.
I truly believe we all have an abundance of these life lessons to share with the world, and I would love for you to share yours in the comments below! So let me know, what little life lessons do you always love to share?
xx Bry Jaimea
*note: I understand that there are situations in life that are just fucked up and there is no positive in it at all and for which no blame at all rests on our shoulders. If you have ever experienced a situation like this I can only offer you my love and sorrow that you have had to deal with such an ordeal. If you have had an experience like this and are looking for help contacts can be found here.